WARNING: Try This At Home
I triple dozy dog dare you!
Over the years, I’ve seen some great WARNING labels posted on products.
Thankfully, I didn’t buy that new wheelbarrow because, “CAUTION: Not Intended for Highway Use.” Probably didn’t get good gas mileage anyway. And a friend of mine returned their new stroller because, “CAUTION: Remove Child Before Folding.” That’s just way too inconvenient for someone in a hurry!
There are more comical cautions on fish-hooks, “Harmful if Swallowed.” Or on pepper spray, “May Irritate Eyes.”
Funny, but warning/caution labels often exist more to protect the producer of the product than the consumer—because I’m sure most of us don’t iron our clothes while wearing them, or allow our pets drive after taking their medication which may cause drowsiness. No dozy driving dogs! Or catatonic cats cruising around!
Let’s not forget some other creative commercial cautions…
You know the ones I speak of. They show “real” people (actor portrayals) with medical issues requiring a certain “drug” to help them. We see them miserable at first, but later—after we assume they’ve taken the medication—they’re laughing, dancing, enjoying nature and their family time together, etc. The scenery and music are beautiful and it all seems nice…until you listen to the ominous, oddly calm voice (hidden) in the background. While the happy stuff shows on the screen, the voice reads many of the “possible” side-effects; in the background sounds (so we don’t notice them). Usually, it begins with, “Side-effects may include…” and then ends with, “…and also death.”
Speaking of death, I saw a tramway sign that said, “Touching live wire will cause instant death.” It then added, “Fine: $200 dollars.” I think I’d rather pay the fine at that point!
I also enjoy (not really) reading the “fine print” (another trick of the trade). For the record, it can be done if you pause the screen and happen to have a high-powered magnifier. Also, if you record the person’s voice reading the “legal” jargon at super-speed (another trick), you can slow it down and understand them. F.Y.I. It still makes no sense.
And isn’t it comical during car commercials where they show all the amazing things that a certain vehicle is capable of—like Jason Bourne-esque car chases, safely cruising along dangerously icy roads, or fleeing volcanoes at top speed and all while towing the Space Shuttle.
You’re excited to buy the car and try these things out until you read, “CAUTION: Professional Driver on Closed Track. Do Not Attempt.” Darn it!
Last but least; how many television shows and YouTube videos out there begin with the most famous caution of all: “Do Not Try This At Home.” That’s no fun! Where else am I going to try it? Didn’t they learn how to do it at home, first?
What’s my rutty point?
First, all of this warning wisdom (though at times comical) is worth it to follow and hopefully “common sense” will take care of us, so we can keep ourselves and others, and our homes relatively safer.
Second, let’s stop living our lives in fear.
Yes, we need good medicines, reliable vehicles and homes and products to help our lives (and our families) be healthier, safer and more enjoyable. Yes, we need Warning Labels and Cautions to guide, not threaten us. But we also need to make the best, safest, most informed decisions we can so that we can get back to living life.